I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
