Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
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The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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