How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
