so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
