I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
