Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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