No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
