foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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