Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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