I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
