So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
