So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
