I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize