i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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