I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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