I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
