I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
