I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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