Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize