I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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