he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
