I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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