My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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