Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
