Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
