By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
