walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am one with the molecules
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
