just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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