Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
