what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
