I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
