saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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