This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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