I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
