I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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