Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
