Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Still dying that you shit outside
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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