woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
