I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
