i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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