thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
