I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
