I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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