hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's always time for handjobs
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
