i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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