How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize