I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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