so explain again why im purple
no
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
