Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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