I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There's always time for handjobs
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
