What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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