I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
