The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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