like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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