who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
