Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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