if i can run in heels then i can drive
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
