we're chasing vodka with high fives
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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