Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
