my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
