well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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